There’s a long-running joke that if men experienced menstrual periods, the world would probably grind to a halt every 28 days. Emergency broadcasts would be issued, hospitals would overflow, and someone would inevitably try to make a sports league for “competitive cramp endurance.”
Men cannot relate to the fact that menstruation is an intense, physically demanding, and often emotionally taxing process: one that millions of women endure monthly, while working, studying, caring for families, and just generally keeping the world running.
Let’s be honest, if the tables were turned, men might not even make it through the first 24 hours.
The pain would humble them
Men love to flex about handling pain better, but period pain isn’t just “discomfort.” It’s caused by hormone-like chemicals (prostaglandins) that make the uterus contract so hard it briefly cuts off oxygen to nearby muscles, hence the stabbing, cramping agony.
Studies show women generally have a higher pain threshold than men, likely because they’re wired to endure cyclical pain. Men, meanwhile, often rate pain higher on scales when tested.
So no, they wouldn’t just “walk it off.” They’d likely be the ones curled up in the fetal position, demanding a doctor.
“But men are stronger!” Sure, they have more muscle mass, but that’s useless against cramps.
On the pain scale, severe cramps can be as intense as a heart attack. Imagine waking up with a knife-twist in your lower abdomen that flares every few minutes, making you sweat, curl up, and wonder if you’re being punished for a crime you don’t remember committing.
Now imagine doing that while trying to meet a work deadline or lead a Zoom meeting without grimacing on camera.
Women do this regularly. Men? Hmm.
The “period flu” would break them
Cramps are just the beginning. Some women experience a cluster of symptoms I’d like to call the “period flu”. This includes fatigue, headaches, muscle aches, bloating, mood swings, nausea, and even diarrhoea.
Picture a man on the couch, wrapped in three blankets, holding a hot water bottle, demanding ice cream, and groaning about “the end.” That’s day one for many women, except they still show up to life.
Hormonal rollercoaster? Buckle up
Hormones like estrogen and progesterone fluctuate wildly during the menstrual cycle. These shifts can cause mood changes that are completely out of your control.
A sad ad about puppies might suddenly make you cry. A slow Wi-Fi connection might feel like a personal attack. Now imagine enduring that level of hormonal turbulence on top of physical pain, and still being expected to work like nothing’s wrong.
If men had to deal with this monthly, I think we can all agree they wouldn’t handle it half as well.
The bleeding, yes, we’re going there
Women lose about 30-80mL of blood per period (roughly 2-6 tablespoons). Doesn’t sound like much? Try shedding that every month for 30+ years.
Biologically, men’s bodies aren’t optimised for regular blood loss. They have higher haemoglobin levels (which thickens blood), making them more prone to clotting issues if they bled monthly. Plus, their iron reserves aren’t as adaptable, meaning they’d risk anaemia way faster.
Society wouldn’t let them hide
Women have been socialised to power through their periods in silence, at work, in school, in sports, with very little sympathy or workplace flexibility. If men had periods, you can bet it would be a national issue.
Paid “menstrual leave” would be a given. Pain relief products would be free and delivered to your door. There would be primetime news specials on “Understanding the Male Cycle” with expert commentary and government funding for “Cramps Research.”
Unfortunately, women don’t get to have such privilege.
While it’s fun to imagine the chaos of men having periods, the reality is that menstruation is not a walk in the park. It’s a complex biological process involving hormonal shifts, physical pain, and emotional strain, all while society expects you to keep functioning at 100%.
What women go through? Men wouldn’t survive 24 hours.