Generally, there are many compelling reasons why partners who have broken up remain friends with the person they have broken up with; however, nicely rejected, they may seem like a consolation prize.
It’s likely one of the first questions that come to mind when a relationship ends.
The friendship following a failed romance feels as if it is a necessary consolation prize. Statements like these come up all too often...To Read The Full Content; Tap Here Now .
No matter what happens, we will always remain close to one another.
We will always be friends.
We should still meet.
To the person executing the dumping, however nicely the execution is done, the promise of friendship is equally attractive to both of them. In the meantime, we can call them when we want to, share our fears and watch movies together.
Furthermore, we’re deeply attached to the idea that we’re not monsters, and friendly people, always try to be friends with our exes. Our relationship with the soon-to-be-ex is, to use a sentimental expression, “extremely fond,” but we have no desire to remain with them and are not willing to refuse all future romantic proposals because of them.
I know some of you disagree with me. Some of your ex-partners are now your best friends or remain significant parts of your lives. I think you’re special or a little delusional, my friends.
For most of us, attempting to maintain a friendship with a former partner feels messy, complicated, and painful — which is why I asked myself if it’s really something we should be pursuing.
From a distance, the arguments may sound reasonable, but they appear deeply painful from close up. For the dumped party, the move from lover to a friend is an eternally humiliating demotion; to go from a collective lifelong future to dinner every second Thursday is, to put it mildly, a step backward.
Additionally, the sighting of the ex is sure to reignite hope and further insult; let us be honest here, one is not gaining a friend here, but rather an unwitting tormentor. According to the experts, friendship with an ex is possible, but there’s a catch.
The two of you must admit that you don’t work together as a couple. According to Dr. Christine Selby, a psychology professor at Husson University, to maintain a healthy relationship post-breakup, both people need to recognize what made the relationship work and what did not.
If you both can also see that “what brought you together was a strong friendship, then it may be possible to re-establish the relationship as a friendship provided there is a clear understanding that neither of you wants to pursue dating [each other] again.”
These kinds of niceties always seem genuine. Nevertheless, don’t you think you both need to take care of one another? You thought of each other as soulmates and lovers just moments ago.
Can your entire relationship shift from deep intimacy to cordial strangers in the span of a single conversation? I can’t imagine it.